Murphy’s Blog

Since the most recent season of Nip/Tuck ended, I’ve been in search of a new embarassing vice.  I found it after finally getting sick of not knowing who the skinny, femme-looking white rapper is in the Boost Mobile commercial with Young Jeezy and Jermaine Dupri.  I Googled “Boost Mobile commercial” and, seriously, the first item on the search list was a question from Yahoo! Questions asking: “who is the white guy in the boost mobile commercial with Jermaine Dupree and Young Jeezy?”  The answer: Mickey Avalon.  So I Google “Mickey Avalon” and learn that he’s some crazy, drug-addled cat with a really Jewish name (Yeshe Perl) who got together with former MTV VJ Simon Rex, aka: Dirt Nasty, and decided to become a rapper.  He got big on MySpace and has his own album, which I subsequently purchased at Best Buy.  I do, by the way, see the irony in actually purchasing from a retail store an album from a guy who got famous purely through the internet.  Why didn’t I just pirate the music or download it legally?  Well, the CD was only $10, so I figured there was little to lose.  I wasn’t expecting to dislike his stuff, but I wasn’t realy expecting to like it much either.  To my surprise, I love the CD!  The beats and the hooks are catchy, the lyrics (while very crude and not for the faint of heart) are phenomenal, and most of the songs are fun.  In fact, Mickey Avalon sounds a lot like Eminem would if Em was Jewish and from LA, and if he wasn’t quite as angry.  A majority of the album’s content involves drug use, sex with random chicks, prostitution, and either sodomizing or beating up your dad or brother.  It ain’t the Beatles, but it’s got some good stuff.  And it also brings back that timeless classic: the extra track.  Track 69 (and there really are, like 55 blank tracks) is a song from Avalon’s group, Dyslexic Speedreaders, featuring the aforementioned Dirt Nasty and the relatively unknown Andre Legacy, called “My Dick.”  I laughed out loud at several points during the song, in which each member of the group takes turns telling listeners how much better their dicks are than yours.  I should be too old, too smart, or too cultured to like this…but I’m not.  This is the best CD I’ve purchased in a long time and I look forward to getting back in my car tomorrow morning to listen to it some more.

I’m pretty skeptical of all the “free” offers I see everywhere.  Hell, I’m even skeptical of stuff that costs money.  Like when this Viatnamese whore approached me and said: “Fi dolla, fi dolla!  Me so ho-ny, baby, me love you long time.  Fi dolla, ennuh-ting you want, baby,” I was understandably pessimistic.  In any case, I was beginning to wonder about the rebate that came as a part of my purchase of a Samsung Blu-Ray player from a big box electroics retailer.  I was supposed to get 5 free movies with my purchase, so I filled out the necessary stuff and mailed it off.  Well, sure enough, I got my 5 movies in the mail today in what may well be the shoddiest packaging ever.  I was pretty happy about it, even though the likelihood of me watching all of the movies is slim. 

Also, Matt Painter sucks.