Since the most recent season of Nip/Tuck ended, I’ve been in search of a new embarassing vice. I found it after finally getting sick of not knowing who the skinny, femme-looking white rapper is in the Boost Mobile commercial with Young Jeezy and Jermaine Dupri. I Googled “Boost Mobile commercial” and, seriously, the first item on the search list was a question from Yahoo! Questions asking: “who is the white guy in the boost mobile commercial with Jermaine Dupree and Young Jeezy?” The answer: Mickey Avalon. So I Google “Mickey Avalon” and learn that he’s some crazy, drug-addled cat with a really Jewish name (Yeshe Perl) who got together with former MTV VJ Simon Rex, aka: Dirt Nasty, and decided to become a rapper. He got big on MySpace and has his own album, which I subsequently purchased at Best Buy. I do, by the way, see the irony in actually purchasing from a retail store an album from a guy who got famous purely through the internet. Why didn’t I just pirate the music or download it legally? Well, the CD was only $10, so I figured there was little to lose. I wasn’t expecting to dislike his stuff, but I wasn’t realy expecting to like it much either. To my surprise, I love the CD! The beats and the hooks are catchy, the lyrics (while very crude and not for the faint of heart) are phenomenal, and most of the songs are fun. In fact, Mickey Avalon sounds a lot like Eminem would if Em was Jewish and from LA, and if he wasn’t quite as angry. A majority of the album’s content involves drug use, sex with random chicks, prostitution, and either sodomizing or beating up your dad or brother. It ain’t the Beatles, but it’s got some good stuff. And it also brings back that timeless classic: the extra track. Track 69 (and there really are, like 55 blank tracks) is a song from Avalon’s group, Dyslexic Speedreaders, featuring the aforementioned Dirt Nasty and the relatively unknown Andre Legacy, called “My Dick.” I laughed out loud at several points during the song, in which each member of the group takes turns telling listeners how much better their dicks are than yours. I should be too old, too smart, or too cultured to like this…but I’m not. This is the best CD I’ve purchased in a long time and I look forward to getting back in my car tomorrow morning to listen to it some more.
Okay, did anyone else out there watch the Minnesota/Maryland NIT game? It was on right after the NCAA play-in game between Mt. St. Mary’s and Coppin St. If you had nothing else to watch (I caught 24 seconds of the game before putting in “No Country For Old Men”) you were treated to the site of Steve Lavin sans hair grease. When I first saw the shot, I thought they were flashing back to 1994 or something. Lav, who usually sports enough pomade to make Pat Riley jealous looked more like Zack Morris than Richard Grieco. I guess his product was confiscated by the Minneapolis TSA, because his coif was parted on top and was all high and poofy. In fact, the only thing holding down his hair was his headset. I can only imagine the cries of horror from Italian men everywhere.
For some unbeknownst reason, people outside the U-S of A love Linda Hogan and are being driven to ScrubSports.com as a result. The popularity continues to drive site traffic via Google images, though it’s anyone’s guess how or why this is happening. Almost 50 people a day come to the site from other countries, which is probably more than the number of Americans who view our site. Go figure.
And if you were wondering, the dishwasher is working. Now I just need to figure out how to load it in such a way that the outermost dishes actually get washed.
After putting up with a dishwasher that didn’t wash or dry our dishes well for the better part of 2 years, my wife and I decided that it was time for a new appliance. Oh, did I mention that our dishwasher also smelled like open wet ass? Yeah, if you opened that bad boy after having not run it in about 2 days, you were in for a rude awakening. In any case, I felt that the $115 installation fee was a bit steep and that I could surely, with my novice home improvement skills, pull a quick DIY job and be done with it. Well, it took me about 2 hours just to UN-INSTALL the POS we had. I then started putting in the new one, quickly discovering that I’d need new connectors, silicone tape, a new hot water hose, and various other items from Home Depot. So, after about 8 hours of labor, I finally got the damn thing in and squared up and it was running without a leak. So I run it through a cycle and realize…I had forgotten the damn soap. And even when I remembered the soap, it still didn’t wash the dishes well. Nice. Wish me luck.
