Boiler Down!
Toot, toot, m-f’ers!!! Nice game, Boilers! Hell yeah, IU cowboyed up behind their Lumbee Indian coach to lay a whuppin’ on in-state rival and top-25 team Purdue. This was the first time since ‘94 that both teams were ranked this highly and Purdue was riding an 11-game winning streak. Oh, this was also the only time the two teams would square off this year. Hey, I get that having 11 teams means not playing everyone twice, but you’ve got to have some fucking common sense when you make the schedules. IU and Purdue NEED TO PLAY TWICE EVERY YEAR. And if you’re only going to have them play once, you need to at least put the game in a semi-neutral location. Indy would be nice, but it would be a pro-IU crowd; that’s fine with me, but the legions of Boiler fans who overrate their teams every year would probably take issue with it. Hell, I’m sure some of them were upset that their only game against their rivals this year had to be at Assembly Hall. I can only hope the convincing IU win has washed the sand from their collective vagina.
Early reports on the game said that DJ White’s participation would be “iffy,” but I think he proved that he was anything but. I had been afraid that his balky knee might cause him some problems, but I saw during the game that it was not the knee, but rather his gigantic balls, that got in the way. Seriously, I can’t think of the last time I saw a man RIP down boards and go up that strong to the bucket with 3 guys on him. He was playing like a man on fire. As my brother texted me after a particularly manly DJ play, “if this game was Altered Beast, he just got a power up.” DJ played like the main character from that lauded video game, collecting errant shots like power-ups and casting aside Boilers like so many cartoon zombies on his way to victory.
Finally, I would be remiss if I didn’t admit that I felt as if Purdue would win this game. I mean, the IU program is in limbo, their best player was supposedly questionable for the game. Yeah, that’s right, I just called DJ White their best player. EJ is awesome, but he has a long way to go before he’s a great player. Hell, Kelvin Sampson might be done after tonight. But despite all that, the Hoosiers came out and fought back against the early hot shooting of the overmatched Boilers and they showed who the real Top-15 team was. Purdue’s interior weakness and lack of speed was exposed. IU closed out on the perimeter shooters, switched well on screens, and moved the ball effectively in the transition, all of which led to easy buckets.
Okay, I know I said “finally” earlier, but I’ve got more. I’m a little drunk, so I am just a bit effusive right now. Matt Painter is not my favorite dude in the world, but I have to admit that he’s done quite a bit with the talent level he’s dealing with. Typically, the Purdue lineup and a quarter would still not be enough to make a long-distance phone call, but he’s somehow molded that team into a contender. Making sucking Bruce Weber’s balls makes you a better coach.