Where no man is more valuable than any other because we're all equally worthless
GS: The ALCS is like those re-runs of the original “Saved by the Bell” on TBS: awesome characters, great drama, an absolute must-see. The NLCS is more like “Saved by the Bell: The New Class,” where I just keep asking myself the same question: “Who the hell are these guys?”
JWR: The season is still going on? As a Reds fan we have a tradition of not watching past the first month of the season.
BL: I guess it will get interesting if the Indians win it, since they haven’t had this much talent since the days of Jake Taylor, Eddie Harris, Roger Dorn, and the young fireballer wild thing Rik Vaughn. Is Kenny Lofton really Willie Mays Hays using an alias? Oh yeah, I also have seemed to have forgotten to watch the NLCS since it is between 2 teams that did not even exist when I was still playing the game.
CS: Is this human society or canine society? I think heart disease has gotten a really bad rap over the years. I mean, I don’t care if it kills a lot of people: clogging arteries is a part of its culture. Besides, the troll in Frank Beamer’s neck is a far bigger threat than either of these two.
GS: Definitely heart disease. Why would anyone want to die a swift and silent death when they could be hanged, electrocuted, drowned, or repeatedly slammed onto a slab of concrete until their skull collapses? This country has really gone soft.
JWR: I'm gonna say Vick. At least there are ways to combat heart disease and we all know that Vick has Jesus Christ on his side. Or so he said in his post-dogfight press conference.
BL: Probably heart disease, have you been to a WalMart in Indiana lately? If so you can tell that health (or appearance) is not the concern for many. Vick is locked down now and will have a hard time hurting anyone with Pedro Gomez following him around on a leash.
CS: This is a no-brainer: Dominic Purcell (aka: Lincoln Burroughs from Prison Break) plays Ankiel. Purcell has got a huge grape, and by the time the movie comes out, the HGH will have turned Ankiel’s head into a pumpkin. LaRussa is played by Nick Nolte, who is familiar with portraying a coach on the silver screen and also with DUIs.
GS: Ankiel is played by Corey Haim: both started out with promising careers, hit rock-bottom a few years later, and are now trying unsuccessfully to make comebacks. LaRussa is played by….LaRussa. Who better to portray the delicate genius/boozehound than the man himself?
JWR: I figure that you have to have two Ankiels in this movie. The first would of course be Matt LeBlanc and post HGH would be Sean Astin. LaRussa would be played by Robert De Niro.
BL: Gotta be Freddy Prinze Jr, getting that fabled call up from the Cape League as a young lefthanded gunslinger, then having to switch to being a hitter. LaRussa could be played by Jon Voight, with Victor Conte lurking in the shadows as an assistant….
CS: He Hate Me; it’s funny ‘cause it’s true.
GS: Gary “The Rat” Gaetti. Okay so maybe we made that up, but it sure does fit him well.
JWR: I'm reaching a bit here but it's an old wrestler who passed away recently. Mike Awesome, while in WCW, was known as "The Fat Chick Thriller."
BL: Tie between "The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes (was that the dream, to be him?) and Neon Deion Prime Time Sanders, all summed up in one…or 3 words.
CS: Eric Dickerson. His ineptitude would make even my mediocrity appear glorious by comparison.
GS: Without question, Jack Arute. Heehee. I just said Jack Arute.
JWR: I'm torn here but will go with.......Erin Andrews, cause that chick is hot.
BL: OJ Simpson and Joe Namath, both hanging out, drinking, and hugging. Pre-1994 of course. Hopefully Namath would know to stay away from Nicole.